Duchess Kates dodgy uncle Gary Goldsmith wont shut up about Kate & the baby

Publish date: 2024-05-13

Duchess Kate has a dodgy uncle. His name is Gary Goldsmith, and he’s Carole Middleton’s brother. Uncle Gary lives in “The Maison de Bang Bang” and he has a sordid history with hookers, blow, and something resembling “pimping” (although many claim he “just throws good parties”). It’s not like Good Time Gary is the black sheep of the family either – Kate and Prince William used to visit the Maison de Bang Bang while they were dating, and Gary was invited to the royal wedding and all of that. I have a conspiracy theory involving Uncle Gary – I think he got most of his money from illicit means, and I think Gary’s ill-gotten gains were the way that the Middletons were able to afford their luxurious lifestyle. Uncle Gary pretty much funded Kate’s “waity” lifestyle, at least in my conspiracy theory.

Anyway, since the wedding, Gary has slowly but surely becoming a more public figure. I’m not sure if it’s part of the Middleton family’s concerted PR campaign or if Uncle Gary simply won’t shut up. All I know is that Gary is terribly gauche and whenever he opens his mouth, Kate and her family look like a pack of grifters who just made the biggest score of their lives. Here’s Gary’s new interview in The Sun:

OTHER relatives of Kate and Wills might be fretting over what to buy the royal baby – but not Uncle Gary. He knows exactly what to give his niece’s firstborn, due next month.

Laughing, he reveals: “I’m going to get exactly what I get for all my mates’ babies. As a die-hard Chelsea fan, I always get the baby Chelsea shares. Then, when it’s a bit older, I get it a full tiny Chelsea strip. It’s brilliant, it drives the parents mad. I love turning their kid into a true blue Chelsea fan. And Prince William is an Aston Villa fan. I thought it could be hilarious.”

Gary Goldsmith — or “Uncle G” as the Duchess of Cambridge, her sister Pippa and brother James know him — isn’t joking.

He insists: “I mean, what on earth can you get for a baby like theirs? That baby is going to have everything it could ever want. So Chelsea shares are perfect. I think William will find it funny. I would hope to be at the christening, but I’m sure I won’t be a godfather!”

Gary, 48, is Carole Middleton’s younger brother by ten years. He has always been close to his sister and her family.

He reveals: “I absolutely dote on Pip, James and Kate. I remember when Carole brought Kate home as a baby. She was a tiny little thing, really delicate. When Carole gave her to me I was terrified. I was only 16 and I was like, ‘What do I do?’ I’ve always been Uncle G to the kids. I love my title, the King of Fun — that’s what I’ve been to them. I’m the one who’s always played games, made them laugh.”

“I was so proud at the wedding. I watched Kate walk up the aisle and I was remembering her as that tiny baby in my arms. There was ‘little Kate’ on her way to wed Prince William. It was quite surreal.”

Despite his royal connections, multi-millionaire Gary is proud of his “humble” roots and that he is “new money”. He built up a recruitment business which he sold for £275million in 2005. At one time he owned mansions, yachts and supercars, but he has given most of that up.

Reclining in his seat at his private members’ club in central London, he explains: “I didn’t want to be that guy driving round in a Ferrari and everyone thinking, ‘You’re too old to drive that, give it to your son’.”

He and Carole started life in a council house in Hounslow, west London. Mum Dot and dad Ron instilled a strong work ethic in both their children.

Gary says: “My parents both had two jobs. Dad was a painter and decorator and also drove a van. My mum worked in a shop and did accounts for a firm. Mum was very aspirational, she wanted us to be successful in life. She was over the moon when Carole became an air hostess for British Airways. To mum, Kate’s relationship with William was like all her Christmases had come at once. We are from such humble stock and then here is her granddaughter dating Prince William. She was so proud. When I was stood in the Abbey I was thinking, ‘Oh God, Mum would have loved this’. Both my parents would have.”

In 2009, he invited some people he had met in Ibiza in 2009 back to his villa — the infamous Maison De Bang Bang. They turned out to be undercover reporters for the News of the World. Gary was filmed laying out a line of cocaine and boasting about his royal ties.

He says: “I was at the lowest point in my life — and paid the price. But it provided a massive wake-up call to get my life back in order.”

Sister Carole was one of the first people to call him after the story broke.

He says: “She was incredibly supportive and told me, ‘The whole family are really sorry for what has happened to you, especially Kate’. The family were brilliant and got me through the worst moment in my life. People wrongly speculated that I wasn’t going to be invited to the Royal Wedding. In fact, Kate and William’s wedding happened on my birthday, and by attending the ceremony at Westminster Abbey and then the reception at Buckingham Palace it proved to be the greatest present they could have ever given me. We have always been a very close family. I am so looking forward to the arrival of Kate’s first baby. We all are.”

[From The Sun]

See? It’s not that he’s an awful person or anything, he’s just kind of shady and peasant-y. And I’m sorry, he’s worth £275 million? God, I would love to know more about Uncle Gary’s finances and the finances of the Middletons. At this point, it would be hard to convince me that Party Pieces wasn’t just some money-laundering scheme for Gary. Oh, and Gary has been divorced three times. He’s on his fourth wife. And he will be in Prince William’s life for a LONG time.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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